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FBI OnLine

CASE FILE # 5483217617

Crime
Murder

Victim
SCHMOE, Joseph L.

Perpetrator
Unknown

Details
Mr. Schmoe was murdered with multiple strokes of a cleaver while he was watching television. Witnesses reported having seen a tall male subject with a ski mask running away from the house at the time of the crime.

416 comments

WORST. CRIME. EVER.

This murder is idiotic. A cleaver? Come on! There are a hundred better ways to whack a dude.

O RLY? Well, if it's so easy, why don't you go out and murder someone yourself?

This person died because he failed to follow the instructions in this comment, AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE READ IT, THE SAME WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. Copy and paste this comment in three other case files, and you'll meet your true love. Otherwise, you'll find an untimely, gruesome death.

FIRST!!!!