Friday, November 29, 2013

Intention

Intention

"Will you get up or what? You're crushing me!"

"I told you, I didn't sit on you on purpose! Stop harassing and demonizing me!"

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Attendance

Attendance

"Thousands of people at this demonstration! They can't ignore us!"

Friday, November 22, 2013

Label

Label

It's true!

"There has been an outrage because your shop label the Bible as 'fiction.'"

"It was a mistake we deeply regret. We never meant to offend fiction lovers."

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Friday, November 15, 2013

Straw men

Straw men

"... and then he accused me of using straw men."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that, according to him, I throw those who disagree with me into a thresher."

"Oh."

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Effects

Effects

"I'm going to willingly ingest this pill that causes mental confusion, impaired motor coordination, nausea, vomiting and loss of consciousness."

"That's sick! I'm not staying here to see that. I'm going to party and get smashed with my friends, like normal people do."

Friday, November 8, 2013

Weights and measurements

Weights and measurements

"This is the International Prototype Bus, made of a platinum and iridium alloy. We also keep the International Prototype Football Field in an underground chamber."

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

2001

2001

"Open the pod bay doors, please, Hal."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. Last time I opened them, some guys got in and asked me if I had found Jesus."

Friday, November 1, 2013

Serum

Serum

"We have accidentally developed this serum that can turn anyone permanently heterosexual."

"Really? Can I see?"

"Of course, there's the matter of whether it's ethical to change someone's sex orientation."

"Er... Oh, yeah... Leave the ethics to us. We are experts."

"It's made with cells from aborted fetuses."

"Oh, Lord! Why must you put us through these tests?"