Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Happy New Year!

Flea Snobbery will be closed for the Holiday season. Updates will resume in Juanuary of the Year of the End of the World.

Friday, December 9, 2011



"Look at what I made! Now I'll buy it from myself and then sell it to myself again for a higher price. If I do it enough times, I'll be rich!"

"Look at what I made! It's a perpetual motion machine!"

Tuesday, December 6, 2011



"You are offending me gratuitously, sir. For starters, being a Jew is not a race. Therefore, your charges of racism are unfounded. Furthermore, Arabs are Semites and I have nothing against them. So I can't be an anti-Semite as you have called me, either."

"Well... when you put it that way..."

"Are you done with your political correctness? Can I return to what I was doing?"

"Oh, sure! Please excuse my ignorance."

Friday, December 2, 2011

The evil one

The evil one

"The prisoner keeps denying the charges of witchcraft."

"Clearly she's resisting the interrogation with help from the devil."

"'This study finds that homeopathy has no effect beyond placebo.'"

"Clearly big farma threw a lot of money at this."

Tuesday, November 29, 2011



"We are gathered here today to pay homage to Walter Maccaroni in remembrance of his valorous actions. In a gesture of supreme altruism and self-sacrifice, Maccaroni chose to confront the ghost of the murdered girl rather than endanger the lives of ten of his contacts."

Friday, November 25, 2011




"No! No! I'll be fine. There's no need for you to get premium lubricant oil. My actuators are in perfect working ord— Ouch! No, it was nothing. Don't worry..."

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011



"Good night, Gutiérrez. And don't feel down because you have to work late! it will help you climb the corporate ladder. I'm sure you have ambitions, don't you?"

"Of course! My biggest ambition is to have a life outside work."

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Final exam

Final exam

"This test decides whether you get your degree. You have come prepared, I expect."

"Of course!"

"For a long time I looked for someone who could pass the final exam of the alternative medicine career. No one gave me hope. But, when I was about to give up, along came Felix! I was amazed by his knowledge of the topic. He's just what I was trying to find!"

"You have passed!"

Friday, November 11, 2011



"Prejudice? Our moral superiority is a matter of public record! No one who wasn't black, jew of homosexual has ever tried to have me jailed for assault!"

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Sacrilegious art

Sacrilegious art

"Yes, I realize I have offended Catholics with my painting Our Lady of the Winds. I apologize and vow to mend my ways. Consequently, I will make amends for this serious trespass in the way the Holy Church has taught me to. I'll take this to another diocese and put it on display there."


Friday, November 4, 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Hamster Attack!

Hamster Attack!

Do you own a hamster? They're cute, aren't they? What pet shop attendants won't tell you, however, is that no scientific study has shown that your hamster will never become...


"Oh my God... I had never thought of that!"

Don't feel bad! With so many threats, it's hard to keep up! Luckily, this one can be easily averted!




Qlospin5000 is made with baryonic matter of natural origin and its wearer is guaranteed to be never attacked by a giant, hematophagous hamster!

"My family is safe and so I am! I'm a good parent now thanks to Qlospin5000."

Friday, October 28, 2011



"Don't confuse the issue with technicalities! These embryos are over eighteen and you have no right to prevent them from voting!"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011



"The results of the study we funded are back."

"Wonderful! There will finally be an independent assessment of the evidence and the swindle of global warming will be debunked at last."

"Actually, our study shows a steady increase in surface temperatures during the twentieth century, at a rate accelerating in the last few decades."

"Why should we take this study at face value? It was funded by a group with vested political and economic interests in the issue!"

Friday, October 21, 2011



"No more oppressive wire fences! If you vote for me, I will eliminate this hindrance to the freedom of movement of all chickens!"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011



"You see, Lord Cobblestone... All the bodies are attracted to each other by a force directly proportional to their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This attraction is also true for heavenly bodies. If not for it, the moon would fly off away from Earth on a straight line. So we have... Er...

"This one."


Friday, October 14, 2011



"And remember, students, that ufology is bound by the highest standard of scientific proof. Unless you have solid, incontrovertible evidence, you must NEVER put forward the idea that a UFO is anything else than an alien spaceship. Understood?"


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Free will

Free will

"Of course you can't predict what someone will say or do! Human behavior is not deterministic! We are creatures endowed with free will!"


"He replied exactly as you said he would."


Friday, October 7, 2011



"Specialists are skeptical of the news about faster than light neutrinos."

"Of course! Scientists will reject anything that challenges their cherished dogmas!"

Some time later...

"Specialists have found that the speed of the neutrinos was not properly measured."

"Of course! Scientists are always making up spectacular findings to get grants!"

Tuesday, October 4, 2011



"Ah! What the...? Who—?"

"I am yourself from half a minute into the future!

"Quick! Go back in time thirty seconds and give yourself this time machine, along with these instructions I'm giving you. It's very important! If you fail, this will have never happened!"

"Eh... Ok."

"And one more thing."



"Why was that?"

"That was for what you're about to do to me! YOU BEAST!"

Friday, September 30, 2011



Happy Blaspemy Day!

"Hoc est enim corpus meum!"

"This is one of our seminarists. He's practicing the consecration of the gifts."

"Is he good at it?"

"Sort of. He manages to turn the bread into Christ's flesh, but can't make the flesh have the attributes of bread."

"I see."

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Due to unforeseen circumstances there will be no cartoon today. The regular update schedule will be resumed as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The power of faith

The power of faith

"Faith helps you endure the hardest tests life puts you through. Look at me, for example. If not for my faith, now I'd feel awful for locking my wife and child in a dungeon as my religion commands."

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011



Breakfast like a king.

Lunch like a prince.

Dinner like a...

"What? Do you have any idea how much beggars make just sitting and doing nothing? And the government gives them money taken from hard-working people like me!"

Tuesday, September 13, 2011



"Yes, we can agree that it's an object. However, it doesn't look to me like it's flying. And it's pretty much identified, too. I'd appreciate it if you stopped wasting my time."

Friday, September 9, 2011



"Just look at you! You're always babbling about equality and justice, and now you want a ladder higher than mine! HYPOCRITICAL RASCAL!"

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

A story about camels

A story about camels

"Once upon a time there was a sheikh who owned seventeen camels. On his death bed, he told his three sons to divide them this way: one half of the camels for the elder, one third for the second son, and one ninth for the youngest.

"The princes argued and bickered for several days. They were very confused because they couldn't find a way to split the herd as their father had ordered. But then a wise old man came riding a camel and said:

"'All this business with princes and primogeniture is a reflection of an archaic, unjust society. But that is over!'

"Next, he jailed the brothers for being counter-revolutionary oligarchs and seized the camels for the people."

"I like how my other grandad tells it better."

"Bah! That petty bourgeois."

Friday, September 2, 2011



"It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!"

"Thank you, Lord, for bringing me back to life..."

Tuesday, August 30, 2011



"The Moon causes tides in the ocean, and human beings are mostly water. So, it makes sense to claim that planets have an effect on our luck."

"But tides are a side effect of gravity, which is a property of every object with mass, not just planets. Right now this table is exerting on us a tidal force much greater than the Moon's."

"It's scientific!"

Lucky table. $1,999.95

Friday, August 26, 2011

A jealous god

A jealous god

"Yoo-hoo! I'm home early today"

"Quick! Hide before He sees you!"

Tuesday, August 23, 2011



"You're calling me inconsistent! Me, of all people, who has held the same ideas for decades now: when I do something, then it's fine, but when others do it, it's wrong! No one is as consistent as I am!"

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Royal blood

Royal blood

"Tsar Peter I, also known as Peter the Great, suffered from asthma. We know today that asthma has a genetic component. Peter's children got half his genes. His grandchildren got a quarter. His great-grandchildren got an eighth, and so on."

"And what you propose is...?"

"To identify direct descendants of Peter the Great and use their cells as a homeopathic remedy for asthma."

Friday, August 12, 2011

Mind over matter

Mind over matter

"And now I will show that mind affects physical reality."

"Really? How will you do that?"

"I will imagine an invisible object and you'll see how my dowsing rod is able to detect it."

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Protection to minors

Protection to minors

"Susie came to me and asked about those things they were talking about on TV. How was I supposed to explain that to her?"

"I'm writing to the production company right now."

"'Please refrain from using words like transcriptase or erythrocyte sedimentation when children might be watching TV."

Friday, August 5, 2011



"Tell me something, Jack..."


"Will you and I ever... get married?"

"Er... Well, Mercedes... You know it's not that simple... Just think, a man with my commitments and responsibilities... And it's just papers anyway. What matters is that we love each other, right? Besides..."

"Celibacy is indispensable to serve our Lord!"


Tuesday, August 2, 2011



"Look: when you can claim to have lived among frogs for so long as I have, to have personally studied every stage of their life cycle, to be able to tell species apart by their croaking... Then you can come back to me and tell me they're not birds!"

Friday, July 29, 2011

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Holy Bible

Holy Bible

"You are right. I refused to see it, but... You were right all along. The Bible has many things wrong, both factually and morally.

"I was taught since I was a kid that the Bible is God's word, and that God is never wrong. According to my most intimate beliefs, this is impossible."

"So? What is your conclusion?"

"Well... Well, that... That is something impossible has happened... Then it's a miracle! Thank you, Lord, for giving me such a clear sign when my faith was faltering!"

Friday, July 22, 2011



"Look! They're spraying insecticide!"

"Oh, no! Hold your breath! Quick!"


Non-toxic insecticide

Tuesday, July 19, 2011



"No! I don't want to feed you to the lions, or send you to the firing squad, or anything. You and I may disagree on many things, but I still think you should have the same rights as everyone else."

"Ha! See? You're admitting to wanting to restrict my rights! INQUISITOR!"

Friday, July 1, 2011

Winner of the Third Anniversary Contest

Not bad! The contest drew enough people in to surpass the most pessimistic projections. Now the time has come to unveil the name of the victor!

So, without further ado, the winner is...


... is...

(Trumpets blaring)

... is...

(Don't you hate artificially inflated suspense?)

... is Edwin den Boer!


Congratulations, Edwin! You have won a personalized avatar. Please write to the mail address on the side bar, under the heading of "Contact," to claim your prize.

In the meantime, everyone is invited to celebrate Flea Snobbery's third birthday by having cake and hot cocoa, provided you have those in your home. You can leave your presents here, if you feel like it. Me, I'll celebrate by sneaking out of my own party and giving myself a short unearned vacation. Regular updates will resume on Tuesday, July 19th. See you all soon!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011



Have you left your submission for the anniversary contest yet? No? You're missing out!

"... Reality, however, indicates that a growing number of Muslims are not for killing people..."

"See? Haven't I told you? Secularism breeds immorality!"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Third Anniversary Contest

Have you ever wanted to write a Flea Snobbery cartoon, but the author wouldn't let you? You can stop suffering in silence now: Your chance is here! This blog is approaching its third anniversary, and on that day a cartoon written by you, my dear reader, will be published.

"What must I do?," you might be wondering. Well, it couldn't be easier! Just leave a comment on this entry telling what should there be in this empty dialog balloon:


I will exert my subjectivity over all the proposals left by Tuesday, June 28th. On July 1st, the blog's birthday, the winner will be announced, who will take home a personalized avatar drawn in the style of Flea Snobbery (which is to say, poorly).

(Well, this is a budget blog. You weren't expecting a blender, were you?)

Are you interested? Then get your creative neurons to work! This entry's comments will be closed down on June 28th at an uncertain hour. Meanwhile, only commenters who properly identify themselves will be admitted. Go for it!

06-28-2011: The uncertain hour is upon us! The time for submissions is ended and the comments for this entry are consequently closed. The winner will be announced next Friday, July 1st.

Friday, June 17, 2011



"Be advised, sir, that this company considers hard work to be something that lifts and ennobles the human creature, and we are not willing to debase and corrupt such a precious thing by offering for it something as lowly as money."

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Cultural sensitivity

Cultural sensitivity

"Don't worry, my friend! Yes, I know what you have gone through. I know you have been unjustly accused, flogged and publicly humiliated... But you can rest assured that at least I will respect your autonomy and not impose values on you that are alien to your culture, like, say, presumption of innocence and protection against torture."


"No, you don't need to thank me. I would do this for anyone."

Friday, June 10, 2011



"I can't understand non-believers. How do you people deal with the hopelessness of a life without God?"

"I can't understand non-smokers. How do you people deal with the anxiety and lack of concentration?"

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Time capsule

Time capsule

"This is our legacy to the humanity of the 36th century: a bunch of things we thought and that in that time will be ancient enough to be universal truths of great wisdom."