Aphids

The cake

Honey

"It's delicious, it's got a high energy content, and it never spoils."

"Yeah, but you have to add enzymes and other chemical crap to the nectar."

"It can't be good for you if not even bacteria will touch it."

Poisoning

Parental love

WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN

That is why we would never feed them.

Those who get rich selling you food never mention the dangers!

Choking

Indigestion

Allergies

Mouth burns

NO FOOD IS SAFE

Don't put the profits of the supermarket chains above the life of those most precious to you!

LET NO ONE FORCE YOU TO GIVE FOOD TO YOUR CHILDREN

The body of Christ

The day has arrived! We are celebrating Cook Jesus Day along with Flea Snobbery's fourth anniversary. Don't forget to post your delicious blasphemy today to the Facebook page, or tweet it using the hashtag #CookJesusDay. And your likeness might end up immortalized in pixels by the author of this blog!

"Hoc est enim corpus meum!"

"I see your seminarist is still practicing. Can he make the flesh of Christ have the attributes of bread now?"

"Well, not exactly... but he can make the flesh to be cured and spiced, which is appreciated by the congregation."

Moral of the story

"Well, son, what have we learned from today's read?" "Er... That earthlings are full of germs and must be cooked well before eating them?" "Very good!"

Diet

Breakfast like a king.

Lunch like a prince.

Dinner like a...

"What? Do you have any idea how much beggars make just sitting and doing nothing? And the government gives them money taken from hard-working people like me!"

I am that I am

"What is this? Who are you?"

"I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob...

"... and this is totally disrespectful. Pst!"

Alternative

You can stop being held hostage by the food barons!

Did you know that food is a multi-billion industry for the benefit of a few people?

Did you know that it is these few people who keep in place the outdated materialistic paradigm of food as a mere bunch of proteins, vitamins and carbohydrates?

Did you know that it is in this poweful lobby’s interest that the world hunger problem is never solved to keep a market for their products?

Break the shackles!
Try now the Alternative Foods of Doctor Randolph™!

The Alternative Foods* of Doctor Randolph** have been created to satisfy the nutritional requirements of the body, the mind and the spirit.

Quantum Talc Powder
Magnetic Rosewood
Aura Lacquer
Vibrational Cardboard
Energetic Brick
Millenary Polyester

No fats! No cholesterol!
No chemical preservatives!

* The Alternative Foods of Doctor Randolph must be in no way taken for a substitute for regular nourishment as they are meant only as a complement thereof.
** The word “doctor” is used for illustrative purposes only.