Rights

"Objection, Your Honor! My defendant is entitled to a fair trial and this court is clearly biased in favor of human rights."

Blogger of the year

"Hmm... This blog thing looks good to make my stuff known."

"Hmm... This stuff looks good for my blog."

"I thank my readers for making this possible..."

Peace be upon him

Happy Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

"Isn't he wonderful? He has covered his likeness lest his more devout followers feel tempted to sin against other people's life when they see this cartoon!"

"A true example of peace and virtue!"

"Salaam!"

Hygiene

Only for this week, next cartoon will come out Thursday due to exceptional circumstances.

"It's dirty."

"I won't get you a new one if you ruit in! Is that clear?"

Supreme authority

"NO! I told you all not to do that! STOP IT!"

"Darling, I'm worried about the baby. Why don't you talk with him?"

"Oh, that's just typical of his age. Better his toys now than his children when he grows up."

"I didn't give you free will for that! WORSHIP ME!"

Relativism 2

Out of deference to the cultural sensibilities of some readers that have written in, the present counterpoint to last Tuesday's cartoon is offered. There, no one needs to be offended now.

"Nothing personal. It's just a part of my culture."

"Er... Well, in my culture there exists the custom of living many years."

"Silence. Don't try to impose your values on me."

Column

"The culture columnist called in sick. Can you take his place today?"

"Well, I usually do science news... But I can give it a try."

"Moby Dick, Hermione Mobile's new book about the biggest killer whale in the world, is baffling critics and bringing literary theory into question—"

Relativism

"What? Conquest and plundering are part of my culture. Who made you the arbiter of right and wrong?"

"Yeah! Respect other people's traditions and values!"