Personhood

"Don't confuse the issue with technicalities! These embryos are over eighteen and you have no right to prevent them from voting!"

Study

"The results of the study we funded are back."

"Wonderful! There will finally be an independent assessment of the evidence and the swindle of global warming will be debunked at last."

"Actually, our study shows a steady increase in surface temperatures during the twentieth century, at a rate accelerating in the last few decades."

"Why should we take this study at face value? It was funded by a group with vested political and economic interests in the issue!"

Candidate

"No more oppressive wire fences! If you vote for me, I will eliminate this hindrance to the freedom of movement of all chickens!"

Newton

"You see, Lord Cobblestone... All the bodies are attracted to each other by a force directly proportional to their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This attraction is also true for heavenly bodies. If not for it, the moon would fly off away from Earth on a straight line. So we have... Er...

"This one."

"Yay!"

Rigorous

"And remember, students, that ufology is bound by the highest standard of scientific proof. Unless you have solid, incontrovertible evidence, you must NEVER put forward the idea that a UFO is anything else than an alien spaceship. Understood?"

"YES, TEACHER!"

Free will

"Of course you can't predict what someone will say or do! Human behavior is not deterministic! We are creatures endowed with free will!"

"Well?"

"He replied exactly as you said he would."

"See?"

Neutrinos

"Specialists are skeptical of the news about faster than light neutrinos."

"Of course! Scientists will reject anything that challenges their cherished dogmas!"

Some time later...

"Specialists have found that the speed of the neutrinos was not properly measured."

"Of course! Scientists are always making up spectacular findings to get grants!"

Loop

"Ah! What the...? Who—?"

"I am yourself from half a minute into the future!

"Quick! Go back in time thirty seconds and give yourself this time machine, along with these instructions I'm giving you. It's very important! If you fail, this will have never happened!"

"Eh... Ok."

"And one more thing."

"Yes?"

POW

"Why was that?"

"That was for what you're about to do to me! YOU BEAST!"