Sacrilege

"Your Excellency, we have a situation we don't know how to handle. You see, the media are reproducing a sacrilegious image of Our Lord and His Holy Mother."

"What's the problem? This offense to the faith must be condemned immediately!"

"It's not that simple, Excellency. The image appeared miraculously in a convent."

The best of both worlds

Respiralin Forte
Diphenhydramine 50 mg
Allergy relief.

Respiralin Dilutus
Diphenhydramine 30CH
Relief for the side effects of Respiralin Forte.

Prophecy

"Master Camisael is a true prophet. He has made over seven thousand predictions that came true!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes! Every day he announces: 'The world will not end tomorrow.' And he has never failed so far!"

Missionary

"Good morning, madam! Kindly renounce your beliefs and adopt mine.

How rude.

Unidentified

"It was a point of light on the Western horizon, short after sundown. It was hovering there for a while and then went out of sight behind the trees."

"Well, the first thing is to keep an open mind and not rule out any hypothesis, no matter how outlandish it may seem."

"Someone told me it could be Venus."

"Oh, yeah! Right! Pffft."

Fair punishment

"... so now I free all the defendants who repent of their crimes, because my innocent son is in jail in their place."

"An example of perfect justice!"

Buoyancy

Abduction

"Here. Walk to the end of this hall to be probed. Then go to the fifth level and wait for the specialist who will put a tracking chip on your head. When you're done, bring the blue copy back to me and proceed to office number seven to have your memory erased and be added to the waiting list to be returned home."

Loaded language

"Yeti. A species unknown to science? Perhaps a hominid that survived until our time? Or a mere legend?"

"Yeti. A testimony to the diversity of human culture and the power of oral tradition? Or just an animal?"