Balls

"It's a known fact that a skillful ball player can make a ball follow a curved trajectory. This is an effect of air pressure. The lower the pressure, the harder this is to achieve.

"At a bigger scale, planets are balls that go on a curved path around the Sun. How is this possible? There's no air in space! Why don't planets stray from their orbits? The answer is obvious if we think about it: planets carry their own air. We call this "atmosphere."

Therefore, even though established science claims otherwise, every planet and moon must have an atmosphere. If they didn't, they'd drift away.

"And it's done! I have proven the scientific paradigm wrong and revolutionized astronomy. You can ask my secretary for my address to send the Nobel prize. Thank you."