Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Correlation
"After interviewing thousands of people, I have found a strong correlation exists between being smart and agreeing with me."
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Vocabulary
Can someone explain to me where 200 cartoons came from?
"No way! Those names are synonymous with superstition and irrationality and I have banned them from my rationalistic, atheist vocabulary. It's a matter of principles!"
"As you wish, but if you don't tell me the names of the planets, you'll fail astronomy."
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Children
"Look what my dad got me! Devout, obedient and totally sin free! What about you? Still playing with that one you made yourself? He he.
"WAAAH!"
Friday, June 11, 2010
Robotics
"The key to our commercial success is that our industrial robots are shaped after a human worker."
"Doesn't that make them less efficient?"
"Yes, but it also makes yelling at them and mistreating them more personally fulfulling."
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Detector
"Since you will only believe in what can be detected and measured, check this out. This instrument registers physiological reactions related to the fact of being offended, giving an objective, scientific assessment of the reliability of beliefs."
"The premise is invalid. Your being offended because your beliefs are being questioned doesn't make those beliefs true."
DING
"Gotcha!"
Friday, June 4, 2010
Palmistry
Of course it's a science! Look at how the police examines the lines of the fingers to find out whether someone is a criminal."
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Defense
"You saw it! They attacked us while we were peacefully boarding their ship. Everything after that we did it in self defense."
"Aye aye, captain!"
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