Theory

But... It's just a theory!

Montbard, France. 18th century...

"My long years studying the natural world have led me to the inescapable conclusion that living forms were created in the beginning of time as we see them today—"

"Ah!"

"What...? Who are you?"

"I'm TIME TRAVELING CHARLES DARWIN!"

"Time? What do you—?"

"Monsieur de Buffon, I urge you to put forward these ideas in the Natural History you are writing!"

"Change in species? Common ancestry between man and ape? I can't write this. It's preposterous and blasphemous!"

"You will! Or else I'll go back in time and prevent you from ever being born!

"No one must know that I single-handedly made up the whole idea of evolution in a bid to destroy Western civilization! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

"Next stop: Baghdad, ninth century!"

"... and that explains all those texts about evolution before Darwin you just mentioned. Now can you prove that never happened? Ha! I didn't think so."

The Dignity of Man

"It's a lie! Human beings are not animals! We are persons, endowed with reason and dignity!"

"The faithful are the sheep of the Lord, and it is the shepherd's task to tend to the herd..."

Eternal Punishment

"... and for their crime, they were condemned in Hades to explain the notion of 'theory' to a creationist."