Space visitors

"Greetings, Earthlings. We come from the star you call Alpha Lyrae, or Vega."

"Damn Vegans."

"Why do they always have to announce themselves?"

Demarcation

"Yes, we can agree that it's an object. However, it doesn't look to me like it's flying. And it's pretty much identified, too. I'd appreciate it if you stopped wasting my time."

Identification

They’re here

"They mutilate cattle. They abduct people. They perform horrible experiments on their victims. And the question is: Why? What goals do they pursue?"

"What the...?"

"It's them! Ha ha ha! They're here! They're here! They're...!"

"What do you mean by 'libel'?"

Contact

"Now that we are in this place so calm and full of energy, let's communicate telepathically with the beings from the cosmos. Let's ask them to come down here and take us to another planet."

"Look! Up there!"

"Good evening! Did you call for a cab?"

Saviors

"Commander, we are arriving."

"It was about time! This planet's situation is unsustainable!"

"—man is the only creature that kills for pleasure—"

"—another example of man's cruelty—"

"—man plunders the environment and drives species to extinction—"

"—this new catastrophe caused by man—"

"People of the Earth, you no longer need to be afraid! Tell us where we can find the one you call Man, and we will take care of him!"

UFO

"It's been circling the place since early in the morning."

"What could they be doing here? Are they trying to tell us something with those complex maneuvers?"

"Any luck?"

"Nope. No open wi-fi around here. Let's try somewhere else."

The arrival

Credit where credit is due: this weapons-grade message of hope was "channeled" by Blossom Goodchild, who also predicted aliens would be arriving today. Well, there's still time.

"Know of this. We come to assist your world. We do not come to take over. We do not come to destruct. We come to give you hope.

"We are beings from other planets, who for many eons of your time have been preparing for these days. We are giving you the opportunity to capture on screen this particular ship. There shall be no contact in the form those of your planet would like. For this initial presentation we shall simply be presenting our ship to you.

"Until we can prove that we come in love, we shall not allow the fullness of our visit to be uncovered.

"Friends of the Earth. Do not be afraid. We beseech you to trust that we come to bring the downfall of those who have misintentions for the well being of your planet. If we do not intervene now, as has been planned for eons of your Earth time, then we fear it would be too late.

"We ask you to accept us in love. For that is why we come.

"Know of this. This is the beginning. Not the end. For indeed we come in peace. Fill your souls with trust in that knowledge.

"Be of joy. It is time for that. You shall know of this as your heart accepts the true reason for our visit. To bring you an understanding of love. Know of this."

"Alien Slaughter! Thousands dead from boredom by the invaders' broadcast."