Definition of marriage

"If two people of the same gender get married, who is a property of whom? You didn't think about that, did you?"

Commitment

"Tell me something, Jack..."

"Mhmm?"

"Will you and I ever... get married?"

"Er... Well, Mercedes... You know it's not that simple... Just think, a man with my commitments and responsibilities... And it's just papers anyway. What matters is that we love each other, right? Besides..."

"Celibacy is indispensable to serve our Lord!"

"Amen!"

Marriage

"I'm sorry, we're out of marriages. Two gentlemen came in short ago and took the last one."

"Damn it! Why weren't we listened to?"

Definition 2

"To prevent the chaos of a relativistic society where everything and anything is allowed, we must uphold the traditional definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman..."

"That's right!"

"Well put!"

"... dissolved only by death."

"Hey!"

"Well, there's no need to get fanatical about it, right?"

Definition

"This is simply about calling things by their right name. To call something other than the union of a man and a woman 'marriage' flies in the face of reason."

"You mean it would be like calling someone with no children 'father'?"

"That's totally unrelated."