Protection to minors

"Susie came to me and asked about those things they were talking about on TV. How was I supposed to explain that to her?"

"I'm writing to the production company right now."

"'Please refrain from using words like transcriptase or erythrocyte sedimentation when children might be watching TV."

Commitment

"Tell me something, Jack..."

"Mhmm?"

"Will you and I ever... get married?"

"Er... Well, Mercedes... You know it's not that simple... Just think, a man with my commitments and responsibilities... And it's just papers anyway. What matters is that we love each other, right? Besides..."

"Celibacy is indispensable to serve our Lord!"

"Amen!"

Frogs

"Look: when you can claim to have lived among frogs for so long as I have, to have personally studied every stage of their life cycle, to be able to tell species apart by their croaking... Then you can come back to me and tell me they're not birds!"