Charon

"So, 'render unto Caesar,' huh? Well, buddy, unless you can return and bring back some of Caesar's spare change, you're stuck here for a while."

"Okay, okay... I'll be right back."

Psychic

"I'm seeing an awesome psychic! The other day she told me to say home on Saturday or else I risked being involved in a car accident."

"So? What happened?"

"She was exactly right! I stayed home the whole Saturday and wasn't in any car accident at all!"

"Amazing! You have to give me her phone number."

Poor

"Projections indicate that this economic program could cause the proportion of the population living under the poverty threshold to double in the next five to ten years."

"Wonderful! More opportunities to practice Christian charity and earn Heaven! This must be applied immediately."