Old Earth

"I'm sure it was around here somewhere... Behold! It's the one I made when I was your age. See if you can find something you can use for yours."

"Dad, this thing is full of fossils."

"Ah, yes. You see, son, in those days..."

"Aww... Look at the baby with his little world! Nice little world, baby! Can I have it? Ha ha."

"Leave me alone."

"Let's see... How much can it take?"

"NO!"

Eternal reward

"This is Heaven? A huge empty parking lot? I expected something else."

"It is a glorious place of gardens and palaces. It just happens to have the external attributes of a parking lot. How come everyone who comes here is so skeptical?"

Suspicious

"There goes the super-fast train. It carries hundreds of passengers. At that speed, not one would survive in case of a wreck. However, there has never been a wreck in all the decades the train has been in service. Never! Do you understand that? Not a single incident in decades! Does that sound normal to you? There's something fishy going on!"

"What's your point?"

"It's a conspiracy by life insurance companies."

"Uh-huh."