Stronger sex, weaker sex

"I explained to you already this is a job for me. Women aren't strong enough for it."

"But..."

"Enough! I won't hire you and that's it."

"They have it easy, don't they?"

"Yeah. Why bother when they have us around to break our backs doing the hard work?"

Watermark

"Why do you watermark every picture you upload?"

"So no one will claim my work as their own."

"But you didn't take any of these pictures! Which work?"

"What do you mean, which work? Pictures don't watermark themselves, you know."

Disadvantage

"There aren't soup kitchens for me. There aren't shelters for me. There aren't social aid plans for me. And yet you are supposed to be the disadvantaged one? You should give me money!"

Free speech

"Why shouldn't I say 'shut up or I'll cave your head in'? You want to censor me now?"

Theoretical model

"Assuming that human beings are rational economic actors whose decisions are oriented towards maximizing their profit according to a clearly-defined self-interest, I have come to the conclusion that there is no sounder investment than a spherical cow farm."

Hugs

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The sea

"Just look at this sea. How can you look at this and still be an atheist?"

"You're right. Poseidon is great!"

"There is no Poseidon, you damn pagan!"

Great leader

"We are not fanatics! Fanatics deny the mistakes and flaws of their leaders. Our leader is flawless and has yet to make a mistake, so there's nothing we need to deny."

Good guys, bad guys

"So, we're the good guys, are we?"

"Of course! We're the good guys because we shoot bad guys."

"And how do we know they're bad guys?"

"They shoot us good guys."

"Got it."