Molecular Snobbery

"What's the matter with him? Why won't he talk to us anymore?"

"Don't mind him. Ever since he became homeopathic he acts as if he cured cancer."

Film Criticism

"Glorification of violence... White heroes fighting dark-skinned villains... Justification of eugenics... Pure right wing propaganda!"

"A few heroes against a monstrous invading army... Lascivious, corrupt priests... Homosexual subtext... Nothing but progressive smut!"

Newsworthy

Polls: a new obsession

Online poll results reveal that everybody takes online polls.

• 100% polled know polling website
• A sociologist analyses this collective fixation

Principles Specs

"It works great, but... There are no 'Cancel' buttons anywhere."

"I don't program for wussies who chicken out at the last minute."

The Dignity of Man

"It's a lie! Human beings are not animals! We are persons, endowed with reason and dignity!"

"The faithful are the sheep of the Lord, and it is the shepherd's task to tend to the herd..."

Situational Reverence

"Oooh! The ageless wisdom of the elderly."

"Bah! The stubborn conservatism of old folks."

He Knows What You Are Doing

adminBB @winston_smith stop slacking. Those logs won't edit themselves, you know. 5 seconds ago

winston_smith Slacking 1 minute ago

sexyjulia Having lunch. Yum yum... 2 minutes ago

MrParsons workin hard 4 teh party!!! 5 minutes ago

sumdude i dont wanna go 2 the room lol 5 minutes ago

Justice

"Some might now condemn the decisions I have made, but the court of History will eventually acquit me."

"We will plead temporary insanity."

Democracy

"Hear hear, my fellow Lunazites! I have been to Earth and seen something called 'democracy' we should apply right away.

"Each of us will step forward and put a ball of their favorite color —either red or blue— in this vase. Then we'll count the balls. The color with the more of them will be the winner.

"Those who chose the winning color get to oppress and enslave those who chose the other color for a fixed length of time. Then it starts all over again. Any questions?"

"Are you sure that is how it works?"

"That's anti-democratic speech! Get him!"

Eternal Punishment

"... and for their crime, they were condemned in Hades to explain the notion of 'theory' to a creationist."

Cyanobacteria

2.5 billion years ago...

"If we keep emitting oxygen, we could cause a catastrophic change in the atmosphere."

"Nonsense! The Earth is too big and we are too insignificant to have any effect on it. Drop your cheap alarmism already!"