Transformation

"Mister Impressive, how do you keep the secret of your identity? Do you wear glasses?"

"Ha ha! Of course not. I am just very different in my civilian life. Look

"See?"

"Amazing! But why are you showing me this?"

"Because it's the only super power I've got, and if I keep it hidden I'm only a buffoon in a colorful costume."

Samuel and Saul

"The Lord sent me to anoint thee to be king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the Lord. Thus saith the Lord of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt. Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling. But not fetuses, for they are human beings and life is sacred upon the Lord."

"The will of the Lord shall be done."

Popular

"The results of the parliamentary election are in. Checkered Party: fifty one percent. Striped Party: forty nine percent. This means that forty nine percent of the constituency is made up of authoritarian people who disregard the choice of the majority, and taking their votes into account would be against popular sovereignty. Therefore, every available seat will go to the Checkered Party. For the sake of democracy."

"Hooray!"

"Yes!"

Piece of art

GARBAGE BIN
Author: Rengo Kalpakian
2011

"You people call this a piece of art? It's just a regular bin!"

"No, madam. The piece of art is the sign that says that the bin is a piece of art."

Reward and punishment

"Welcome! Here the souls of the righteous spend eternity in the presence of God, singing their praises to Him forever!"

"I see... And what about the souls of the damned?"

"Same thing, except they don't get drugs to bear it."

Holy Father

"Holy Father, children are hungry."

"We shall pray for them."

"Holy Father, people are dying from preventable disease."

"We shall pray for them."

"Holy Father, gay people are getting married and women are making decisions about their own bodies."

"This is unacceptable! We will pressure lawmakers into doing something about it!"

Good news

"The good news is that's not a sin here."

"Oh!"

"The bad news is you were misled. It's not a sin on earth either."

"Oh?"

"The very bad news is you won't find any here."

"Oh."

Explanation

"So... Father, Son and Holy Ghost are different, but all the same guy?"

"That is correct?"

"How's that supposed to work?"

"It is a big mystery, my child."

"Bah! You could have said that when I asked where everything came from and spared us half an hour of making stuff up."