Public administration

"Huh? Are you really voting for this guy?"

"He's a successful businessman. If he runs the country as he manages his companies, we'll really pull through."

"These are hard times and sacrifices must be made if our nation is to weather this crisis. Thirty percent of the population will be laid off by the end of the month."

Engineering

"Good heavens! Who designed this? No safeguards... No redundancies... If a part were to fail, the entire system would fail in cascade!"

"Look, I'm sure that, as an engineer, you know quite a deal about gadgets, but you're obviously clueless about this. The manual says it never fails and that's it!"

FREE MARKET ECONOMY

Fair play

"How do you like this fair and balanced Tetris I programmed?"

"It's ok.

"So, what's fair and balanced about it?"

"Look and you'll see"

Congratulations! You don't need to try and fit this piece because it's doubtlessly compatible.

"Hey! That's cheating!"

"It's a perfectly valid alternative way of puzzle solving. Bigot!"

Apollo 11

On July 20th, 1969, the whole world saw Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin walking on the Moon.

Only a few, however, know that they were not alone.

All these years, NASA has jealously kept that information under wraps.

"S... O... S... Crewman... stranded... Send... help...

"I can't wait to lay hands on that pair of jokers."

Cosmic accident

"Ok, atheist guy, explain this. If the earth were closer to the sun, it would get scorched. If it were farther from the sun, it would freeze. It is, however, at the right distance for life to exist. So, tell me: who put the planet in this ideal place? Who did it, eh? Who?"

"That I'd like to know! Who put that planet there? We were supposed to need a sterile universe for this experiment!"

"I'm sorry, professor, but... There are billions and billions of planets to control, and I don't have any help!"

Due reverence

"What? I shook his hand and said 'good afternoon, sir, nice to meet you.' Wasn't I supposed to be respectful?"

Final defeat

It's not the first time they've run into trouble.

"ERROR: You have been permanently banned from this community."

"Well, it's a wonder they took this long."

Treatment

"Still sick? Didn't you see the naturopath I talked to you about?"

"I did. He gave a prescription and told me that, if it didn't cure me, at least it wouldn't harm me."

"So? What happened?"

"He got upset when I replied that, if I didn't pay to him, at least I wouldn't ask him money."