Rules

"I just talked with the organizers. They say nothing changes because your sponsor is a homeopathic lab: you still have to run and win to get a medal."

"What? That is so unfair! This race is rigged!"

Calendar

"Was a date stamp for over five thousand years really necessary?"

"You have no idea how things are in this office. Whenever new supplies have to be bought, everyone acts as if it's the end of the world."

The true history

"Ha ha! I sailed West to the Indies and proved the scientific dogma wrong. I rule and you drool!"

"Not so fast, Columbus! We still have an ace up our sleeve to save face."

"... and for five centuries they have made people believe in an imaginary continent in the middle of the ocean. We are actually in China, and the China we were told about was made up by the media!"

"That has to be the third or fourth most ridiculous conspiracy theory I have ever heard."

"Of course you'll think that, sheeple. Baaaaa!"

Price

"God loves humanity so much that he sent His only Son to pay the price for our sins."

"Does that mean Jesus is in Hell?"

"No, silly. Didn't you hear he was the boss's son? He was given a three day probation and sent home."

Definition

"This is simply about calling things by their right name. To call something other than the union of a man and a woman 'marriage' flies in the face of reason."

"You mean it would be like calling someone with no children 'father'?"

"That's totally unrelated."

Popular science

"We inserted firefly genes in this plant in an effort to test new techniques that hold great hope for the future in that they might eventually, for example, help treat diseases that have no cure today."

"Scientist create glow-in-the-dark plant and say it cures cancer!"

"So much money spent on stupidities

Effectiveness

"Studies show them to be as effective as homeopathic remedies."

SUGAR PILLS
Insomnia
Influenza
Colds
Arthritis
Ulcers
Migraines

Clinical trial

"Both patients showed symptoms that homeopathic pharmacopeias recommend to treat with belladonna. Patient A was given the remedy in a dilution of one part in one novemdecillion. Patient B was given undiluted belladonna as control. Short afterward, patient A was in much better health as patient B. Therefore, the therapeutic efficacy of infinitesimal dilutions is a demonstrated fact."